What Being Sick Could Mean
I came to in a hospital, completely overwhelmed with nausea and ever lasting headache. ‘What is wrong with me?’ I thought. I was hoping so much that the doctor could explain what it was with me when he ran a thorough check up. It ended in disappointment as he failed to diagnose the disease although eh claimed he recognized the symptoms. For the time being, he prescribed a handful of medicine to take repeatedly in a day, way much more compared to my food intake.
Then, I spent most of my days running various medical checks - up – city scan, blood test as well as urine test. I never imagined that all those alien gadgets would be used to me. The sound of body scanner and the feeling of blood shot lingered deeply in my mind. At the end of every test, I crossed my fingers very tightly hoping so much that it would bring any good results.
After the third day, doctor had not been able to firmly say something about my health condition. I began to wonder if it would ever be found. ‘Could it be something new? What if it were? What if it were some lethal incurable disease?’ My head was overloaded with presupposition and misled judgment. Suddenly I began to see things - our wedding, our four - year old marriage, our lovable son, Ito’s birthday, his first utterance, his smile, my wife’s warmth, her fragrance, her smile, my undisciplined yet witty students, my loving friends at the office. They all flashed before my eyes. ‘Could this be it? Who is going to take care of my son? What about my job and my programs?’ All those questions continuously popped up in my no - pop up blocker mind.
It was in this state that I had a chance to meet many saviors.
Alongside my bed in the hospital was my faithful cousin – Ivan. He came to my house actually to spend his first – time - in – the – year break at my house – the place he thought he was very much welcomed. Yet, seeing me lying helplessly in the hospital was a feeling he could not stand. So, he made up his mind to stay beside me going through all of this. He was the one who relentlessly passed my ‘vomit’ basin, my tasteless meal and my packages of medicines – no matter how tired and sleepy he was. God knows what he is made of. He stayed on my side until his break ended on my fifth day in this confinement.
Every once in a while my wife visited me. She always tried to look tough in every visit and hid behind her sweet smile and warm comforting words. I swore I could read some signs of worry written in her face every time though. She always brought Ito along but I deliberately prohibited her to bring him in until the doctor diagnosed my disease. I missed him more than anything but bringing him in and risking that tiny innocent creature with my undiagnosed disease was just not a choice. Yet, I could feel his presence through his mum and it lighted my spirit up to get out of this hell sooner.
My mum also came whenever she had a chance - quite often for a 70 – year – old woman with a complication of weak heart and nerve disorders. She, however, was a very poor actress. She could not hide her worry over her youngest son’s condition and chose not to look at my facial expression (my pain was written all over my face). On the other hand, she chose to sit outside the room and pretended to be okay. As she went home, she would immediately ring me and ask me to hang on – not putting that kind of expression on my face anymore for it made her sad and worried. The lingering pain did make it difficult for me to pretend. I completely understood her worries though.
Friends were also some of my many saviors. They managed to squeeze in some time between their tight schedules to pay a visit. They worked hard to put smiles on my face. It did not always pay off but it felt like they put some chocolate on top – very encouraging.
Whenever family and friends left, I began to cherish the mighty blessings God had been given to me. I never did anything good, said no words of comforts, sent no greeting cards for their special day nor sent prayers to them, but look what they had given me in return. I had been bad, dishonest, insincere and unfaithful to everybody; yet what they did to me was the other way around. I realized that, other than the fact that my body was giving me a ‘red light’ warning to me to hold on my horse, I was meant to see how much blessing I had been given – great family and great friends and how I should be thankful for those I had received. This is one meaningful disease I had to suffer.
On the fifth day, the doctor finally diagnosed that I was suffering from Hepatitis A. I had to stay for another five days in the hospital and yet another five days at home, but with great blessing, love and prayers from family and friends, the disease immediately eased up and eventually completely cured. I am now up and around and start life as a better person. Thank you, Ivan; thank you, Dear Simbok; thank you, Ito; thank you, Mum; thank you, friends.
I came to in a hospital, completely overwhelmed with nausea and ever lasting headache. ‘What is wrong with me?’ I thought. I was hoping so much that the doctor could explain what it was with me when he ran a thorough check up. It ended in disappointment as he failed to diagnose the disease although eh claimed he recognized the symptoms. For the time being, he prescribed a handful of medicine to take repeatedly in a day, way much more compared to my food intake.
Then, I spent most of my days running various medical checks - up – city scan, blood test as well as urine test. I never imagined that all those alien gadgets would be used to me. The sound of body scanner and the feeling of blood shot lingered deeply in my mind. At the end of every test, I crossed my fingers very tightly hoping so much that it would bring any good results.
After the third day, doctor had not been able to firmly say something about my health condition. I began to wonder if it would ever be found. ‘Could it be something new? What if it were? What if it were some lethal incurable disease?’ My head was overloaded with presupposition and misled judgment. Suddenly I began to see things - our wedding, our four - year old marriage, our lovable son, Ito’s birthday, his first utterance, his smile, my wife’s warmth, her fragrance, her smile, my undisciplined yet witty students, my loving friends at the office. They all flashed before my eyes. ‘Could this be it? Who is going to take care of my son? What about my job and my programs?’ All those questions continuously popped up in my no - pop up blocker mind.
It was in this state that I had a chance to meet many saviors.
Alongside my bed in the hospital was my faithful cousin – Ivan. He came to my house actually to spend his first – time - in – the – year break at my house – the place he thought he was very much welcomed. Yet, seeing me lying helplessly in the hospital was a feeling he could not stand. So, he made up his mind to stay beside me going through all of this. He was the one who relentlessly passed my ‘vomit’ basin, my tasteless meal and my packages of medicines – no matter how tired and sleepy he was. God knows what he is made of. He stayed on my side until his break ended on my fifth day in this confinement.
Every once in a while my wife visited me. She always tried to look tough in every visit and hid behind her sweet smile and warm comforting words. I swore I could read some signs of worry written in her face every time though. She always brought Ito along but I deliberately prohibited her to bring him in until the doctor diagnosed my disease. I missed him more than anything but bringing him in and risking that tiny innocent creature with my undiagnosed disease was just not a choice. Yet, I could feel his presence through his mum and it lighted my spirit up to get out of this hell sooner.
My mum also came whenever she had a chance - quite often for a 70 – year – old woman with a complication of weak heart and nerve disorders. She, however, was a very poor actress. She could not hide her worry over her youngest son’s condition and chose not to look at my facial expression (my pain was written all over my face). On the other hand, she chose to sit outside the room and pretended to be okay. As she went home, she would immediately ring me and ask me to hang on – not putting that kind of expression on my face anymore for it made her sad and worried. The lingering pain did make it difficult for me to pretend. I completely understood her worries though.
Friends were also some of my many saviors. They managed to squeeze in some time between their tight schedules to pay a visit. They worked hard to put smiles on my face. It did not always pay off but it felt like they put some chocolate on top – very encouraging.
Whenever family and friends left, I began to cherish the mighty blessings God had been given to me. I never did anything good, said no words of comforts, sent no greeting cards for their special day nor sent prayers to them, but look what they had given me in return. I had been bad, dishonest, insincere and unfaithful to everybody; yet what they did to me was the other way around. I realized that, other than the fact that my body was giving me a ‘red light’ warning to me to hold on my horse, I was meant to see how much blessing I had been given – great family and great friends and how I should be thankful for those I had received. This is one meaningful disease I had to suffer.
On the fifth day, the doctor finally diagnosed that I was suffering from Hepatitis A. I had to stay for another five days in the hospital and yet another five days at home, but with great blessing, love and prayers from family and friends, the disease immediately eased up and eventually completely cured. I am now up and around and start life as a better person. Thank you, Ivan; thank you, Dear Simbok; thank you, Ito; thank you, Mum; thank you, friends.
3 comments:
another great story ya pak, memang kadang-kadang kita gak pernah menyadari yang kita miliki sampai suatu kejadian datang...
Well, yang pasti setelah kejadian itu pak...we are glad bapak udah kembali dalam keadaan yang sehat. Hopefully, juga bapak udah fully recharged....tapi kayaknya sih udah...buktinya bapak udah ngisi blog kita yang sepi seperti kuburan gini. hehehehehehehehehhehehe
welcome home pak sas...!!
Sedih dan senang, derita dan hikmah seperti rel kereta api yang selalu beriringan, kita merasakannya sekaligus dalam satu masa hidup kita. Senang rasanya udah ada kepala botak di kantor lagi...
Apalagi setelah membaca tulisan tentang semua sakit dan doa... jadi bijaksana gitu ya paaak?? heheheh
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